music musings rants

Dedicated — “Hit ‘Em Up”

I love 2Pac. I really do. RIP to one of the greatest rappers ever, and today—I dedicate this lovely song to one of the biggest POS I ever knew in my life: my recent ex. You, my ‘friend,’ are truly the biggest piece of shit I knew. LOLZ. Actually, even feces has more use than you do in this universe. I might sound bitter here (duh!) but really — there are some people in this world whose only purpose is to remind us of FECES. You know how? Well, although it’s necessary and everyone does it yada yada yada, it’s pretty disgusting when we go to the bathroom. And that disgusting act reminds us of how sometimes, we have to look, see, smell, hear gross things to get to the best: an empty bladder, healthy body—and to appreciate the better things in life: like not shitting, or air fresheners, and unclogged toilets. Oh, and better people. You know, people who actually have a moral code and give a shit about how others feel.

So yes, there are some lovely, lovely people in the world whose only use is really to remind you not to put your foot in shit. Because if you do, you’ll get your shoes, socks, and feet dirty and then it’ll suck. Some people do need to see this difference to really not take the “better” people out there for granted. Some of us need to be reminded. Unfortunately, some of us don’t even need this fucking reminder! Some of us are ALREADY WHOLE, COMPASSIONATE, KIND human beings who don’t need these feces-people in our lives to as a reminder to appreciate the better things in life. Not taking shit for granted comes naturally to some of us—and that’s how we live our lives, most especially when we come across feces-people. You see, we think they’re just like us—not full of absolute, disgusting shit—and that’s how we treat them. Well, kudos to us for thinking we’re so awesome, but really feces-people don’t give a crap about our good qualities. What they give a “crap” about (lolz) is themselves and all their shitty qualities. They looooove to roll around in their shitty qualities, lying, cheating, stealing, back-biting, talking shit, and expect people to sit there and take it. LOLZZZIIIIIIEEZZZZ is my response to feces-people.

I know what you wanna say. Oh, be more compassionate, oh where’s your sympathy? Where’s your empathy? Well, you see, feces-people don’t even give a crap if you give them compassion, sympathy or empathy. You did give them that—and more, yet they continued to disregard your feelings, disrespect you, and treat you the same way they see themselves when they look in their crappy mirror: shitty.

The reason why “Hit Em Up” really hits the nail on my feelings right now, is because, well sometimes you really need to curse people out. Sometimes, “kill them with kindness,” or some crap like that really doesn’t work. It might work for some people—but not feces-people. And that’s because they don’t even value kindness! They don’t even value respect! So please tell me why why why why do you think it’s sufficient for you to throw your moral code of kindness+compassion at them and then expect them to understand? Expect them to be sorry? Remorseful? Guilty? No, you don’t have to fall to their level (believe me when I tell you, you never will fall to their level) but cursing someone out is not “falling to a level.” Truthfully, “killing” someone with words—even vulgar words—is much better than causing them or their property physical damage. You won’t really even get in trouble with the law, LOLZ. I’m a writer, so really, words are everything to me. Hitting or attacking someone really will not satisfy me to the core like saying something I’ve been thinking, dwelling on forever. I mean, I’m really not going to pull my glock out on my ex or something, but I’ll let 2Pac do the talking for me here. He gives me justice. Another reason why “Hit Em Up” is awesome right now is because it’s dedicated to Biggie Smalls—2Pac’s rival and one-time “friend”—well, clearly, something went wrong with this “friendship” somewhere. I don’t know the story, nor do I care at the moment, but his entire track is to remind Biggie where he was, who he was, what 2Pac was to him, what he was to 2Pac, and who he still is. and to ‘Pac, well he’s feces. 

I do want to take a moment and apologize to my personal feces for comparing it to my lying, cheating, vomit-inducing ex. I’m sorry, Shit, I really am—but you understand.

sometimes I take metaphors too far,


Life musings rants

why .?

I must ask


do people eat so loudly … ? What is the significance of it? And why do they? Is it something physical—that has to do with their gross teeth, hideous tongue, and awful mouth? or is it something more emotional and mental—do they need to hear themselves? Does that make them all excited, to know that every piece is being chewed and eventually digested into their system? Are they really that insecure that they need to know?

Or do they just do it so people like ME, who are passive and unemployed, can write late night blog posts about their awful habits? Are they encouraging me to write? Do they really want me to blog that bad?

So does this mean they are, ultimately, writing angels, who awake all my senses, and force me to write? Is that what they are? Maybe.

Life personal confessions rants updates


It’s February 2nd and I guess Mother Nature is going to give me my monthly reminder that I’m a woman and this may be TMI for some of you “readers,” but I am going to bitch a lot right now. And you know what, it’s not my fault. It’s the other person’s fault—actually it’s everyone’s fault. Everyone is ridiculous. I am not ridiculous, everyone around me is ridiculous, even the pet that I don’t own is freaking ridiculous and inconsiderate, insensitive, and everything else that is the opposite of nice, kind, and thoughtful.

I don’t know why people talk/text/call me when they don’t even know how to be PEOPLE, they don’t even know how to act like A HUMAN BEING. Further, they still have the audacity to attempt to hold a civilized conversation with me when they probably know that I am really annoyed at them and if it’s not them, I’m probably pissed off at someone else.

SO WHY!? Why do you wanna talk to me and make yourself pretend that you’re making me feel better!? You’re probably the reason I’m pissed off right now. You’re probably the reason WHY White Toberlone isn’t regularly available in the United States, because YOU probably don’t like white chocolate, and I’m the minority. You’re the reason why I’m pretty much sitting here, bitchin’, instead of writing creative fiction, at 3am. Maybe if you did things differently, chewed differently, talked differently, spoke to me differently, then maybe I wouldn’t be so pissed off. I know no one is in charge of my happiness, but you know what people, sometimes it’s nice, sometimes it’s REALLY FUCKING SWEET if people were nice to you when you weren’t feeling so nice, because guess what, not feeling nice all the goddamn time is a human emotion. But, of course, only HUMANS know about human emotions, and I don’t live around humans—I live around mofos.

SIGH….well, this is nothing a few episodes of The Office can’t solve..


rants trying new things updates


Well, my 3rd day is FIN. It’s been FIN for about 25 minutes now, and day 4 has begun. Surprisingly, it was not AS torturous as I had earlier posted it to be; it was more up and down, where I was feeling fairly good, and then I realized how shitty not eating is! Lol, I don’t think I’ve ever explicitly expressed how “CRAPPY” (pun intended there. I know, I’m so not ladylike), I feel these early days. Probably because the other two times I did this cleanse, I was busy during the semester, so I didn’t really have time to sit down and moan and groan and bitch about the ridiculous things I do.

I probably spent a total of 4 hours (divided throughout the day) on Pinterest. It’s obviously the BEST SOCIAL NETWORK EVER MADE IN HUMANITY, but if you look at my “Because I’m a Size 0” board, you will clearly see that I lost my mind on Day 3 of the MC (not MC Hammer). Well, whatever it was, I cannot wait to make, bake, grill, cook, fry, taste, and devour all the NEW RECIPES I FOUND TODAY! OMG!

My most anticipated recipe: MONKEY BREAD!! OO OO AHH AHH … Yes, I have lost it. You will too, my friends, you will too.

Until another moment,

rants trying new things


Today is day three. Three is my favorite number, but I know today is going SUCK SO MUCH. I already don’t wanna finish my salt water flush, it feels terrible and I feel terrible. I don’t wanna do anything and I don’t want to function today. But, I’ve lost all discipline in my life so maybe I need to keep. Going.


rants trying new things


Well, today I finished my second day of the master cleanse. Technically, it’s after 12 so this would mean I’m starting my 3rd day. Regardless, it was torture. I pretty much ate 45 bananas through my brain and my head has been hurting for awhile now. It’s freezing outside, about 18 degrees F, so I haven’t even stepped out of the house all day/night. It’s been fairly torturous and I don’t like anyone,really. Especially those who eat loudly in my house…..oh my god. Well, I’ve got 8 adorable days left, and on a side note, this is the first time I’m blogging from my ipad. 😉 mad cute and shit.

Also, I’ve been freezing to death all day, and I think drinking this lemonade is contributing to it. It’s funny how whenever I have thought about the master cleanse in the past, it’s always pretty positive. I know it was hard and required commitment, but its like my brain only latches on to how good I left in the end –not reminding me how painful it is too! Ahh well, this too shall pass.

Till manyana,


rants Uncategorized


I’ve taken a long hiatus, that I’m not proud of. I assume they are usually good news, or taken for self-reflection. However, mine was unnecessary and I must apologize to the other Nadia inside of me, who should probably stop being so passive, and get ahold of her vida.

personal confessions rants

A rant, and then some—

I woke up this morning laying on my stomach looking at the date. It’s already March fucking 11. There’s about twenty days left of March . . . which means there’s 30 days left of April. What’s the significance of my countdown? Well, my last day of classes is April 30th & then I start finals & then guess what!? I graduate college! Now, this countdown and these exclamation marks are not the product of excitement, achievement, and bliss—rather, they are the products of WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA DO AFTER GRADUATION!? Holy Hawaii (as a guy once said to me when he was hitting on me in NYC) I am not ready. I’ve realized I’ve been caught up in “requirements” the entire 4 years; science req., econ req., english req., everything that may be contributing to me “finishing” college, but not necessarily contributing to me figuring out what I’m doing “after” college. I’ve been quite a late fucking bloomer in academia (excuse my French in this post). I didn’t pick my major(s) until the summer before my Junior year; that may seem like a decent time, especially since I never changed majors, but gave me less time to figure out the ample amount of THINGS (for the lack of a better word) that I need to and should know about economics, english, journalism, jobs, the real world, grad schools, GREs, hamana hamana.

The best part about me, however, is the fact that I am an INDECISIVE BALL OF BIMBO. Not only did I take forever to choose my major; I really have no fucking idea how in the world I even made my decision to choose Economics & English, maybe the fact that I couldn’t pick one is a hint; but I’m still prancing around more things: journalism, corporate jobs, investments/small business plans, getting laid, okay that last one was just a joke or maybe a slip because I really don’t need to prance around getting laid ;-). Anyways, I apologize for digressing. I’m just hoping that me being so “diverse” in my articles, majors & on my resume really HELPS ME THE FUCK OUT. Because God knows, I can’t help myself nor can I make decisions for myself. God! Why didn’t Rutgers offer me a decision-making class!? Ugh!

Okay, I think my rant is done now. I apologize to my reader(s), who I’m surprised has even stuck around till now, for my ridiculousness but you really don’t know how fast time is going by for me and how that in turn has increased my hyperventilation. So, I’m going to leave you with some more misery; a video of a song that my cousin forwarded to me just a couple days ago, saying, “this is your life.” LOLZ, she’s so funny. -_____- It kinda is, but not really. Maybe only the chorus part, haha. Well, it’s got a nice beat, some nice words, & idk, it just sounds good. And it’s dedicated to my ex-boyfriend. Not the message of “asking why,” like he does in the song, or even the feeling of “baby, you should’ve never left,” that is present throughout the song. No, the only part of this song that I dedicate to my EX is the fact that it’s about an EX and there’s never anything good about an ex because guess what, YOU SUCK! 🙂

I’m not bitter at all . . .