I woke up this morning laying on my stomach looking at the date. It’s already March fucking 11. There’s about twenty days left of March . . . which means there’s 30 days left of April. What’s the significance of my countdown? Well, my last day of classes is April 30th & then I start finals & then guess what!? I graduate college! Now, this countdown and these exclamation marks are not the product of excitement, achievement, and bliss—rather, they are the products of WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA DO AFTER GRADUATION!? Holy Hawaii (as a guy once said to me when he was hitting on me in NYC) I am not ready. I’ve realized I’ve been caught up in “requirements” the entire 4 years; science req., econ req., english req., everything that may be contributing to me “finishing” college, but not necessarily contributing to me figuring out what I’m doing “after” college. I’ve been quite a late fucking bloomer in academia (excuse my French in this post). I didn’t pick my major(s) until the summer before my Junior year; that may seem like a decent time, especially since I never changed majors, but gave me less time to figure out the ample amount of THINGS (for the lack of a better word) that I need to and should know about economics, english, journalism, jobs, the real world, grad schools, GREs, hamana hamana.
The best part about me, however, is the fact that I am an INDECISIVE BALL OF BIMBO. Not only did I take forever to choose my major; I really have no fucking idea how in the world I even made my decision to choose Economics & English, maybe the fact that I couldn’t pick one is a hint; but I’m still prancing around more things: journalism, corporate jobs, investments/small business plans, getting laid, okay that last one was just a joke or maybe a slip because I really don’t need to prance around getting laid ;-). Anyways, I apologize for digressing. I’m just hoping that me being so “diverse” in my articles, majors & on my resume really HELPS ME THE FUCK OUT. Because God knows, I can’t help myself nor can I make decisions for myself. God! Why didn’t Rutgers offer me a decision-making class!? Ugh!
Okay, I think my rant is done now. I apologize to my reader(s), who I’m surprised has even stuck around till now, for my ridiculousness but you really don’t know how fast time is going by for me and how that in turn has increased my hyperventilation. So, I’m going to leave you with some more misery; a video of a song that my cousin forwarded to me just a couple days ago, saying, “this is your life.” LOLZ, she’s so funny. -_____- It kinda is, but not really. Maybe only the chorus part, haha. Well, it’s got a nice beat, some nice words, & idk, it just sounds good. And it’s dedicated to my ex-boyfriend. Not the message of “asking why,” like he does in the song, or even the feeling of “baby, you should’ve never left,” that is present throughout the song. No, the only part of this song that I dedicate to my EX is the fact that it’s about an EX and there’s never anything good about an ex because guess what, YOU SUCK! 🙂
I’m not bitter at all . . .