I’ve been saying it since September — but really — I am turning a new freaking leaf this year.
I never thought Miley could really put in words what I feel, but she did. She did it. And she did it like 2 years ago LOLZ. I didn’t even know this lovely song existed until a wonderful friend told me of it (XOXO) and I love it. I actually love a Miley song. And a Drake song too, ugh unfortunately, a couple Drake songs if I’m being 100% honest right now. I’m obsessed with Rihanna and her hair, especially because she’s going back to that island music that she was all about in the beginning. <33reggae<33
I’ve been flaking a lot less this year too! My friends are just OVER THE F**KING MOON about how I actually SHOW UP to places nowadays and many offers are ending with “yes,” and less “no bitch” — I wish I could put up testimonials from them on my blog right now about the % of flaking that has significantly lessened.
Yup, things are changing. I’m taking 25 really serious this year, working my ass off, trying to make that paper, and really making it seem like I’m an adult who has their shit together–lol lez be serious now–but trying is half the battle and fake it till you make it, right? I’ve traveled to 3 cities this year, 1 all by myself, and it was freaking amazing! There has been nothing else so far that has made me feel so “present” than standing in the middle of Dubai, or Miami, 1000 miles away from my home, and really soaking in the rest of the world. I understand that makes absolutely no sense, but I really felt so, incredibly free from so many things. People, responsibilities, even free from my thoughts. But, let’s be serious, that’s what vacation does. That’s what it’s supposed to do.
I MOVED! Not to a strange, dark, unknown place – but somewhere very familiar, but still very different. I love it and hate it. Don’t know how to describe it, but I still have a lot of work left to do to set up the place. It’s a relief to have a space to myself, but of course, my family is super annoying at times and act like they can’t live without me. I guess it’s a good problem to have. To be loved to the point of annoyance.
Also, working out is literally my “FAVORITE THING TO DO” (nacho voice) after eating, of course, and having sex, and maybe baking. No, but really, working out is the best thing in the world a person can do for themselves. Being healthy is soooo important. I’ve drastically changed my diet, and although I sometimes miss eating whatever I want, I don’t miss at all how I used to feel. It doesn’t matter what kind of exercise you do –although I do recommend kickboxing to get the anger out and strength training to feel strong like “strong, black independent woman”– it’s doing it consistently that will get you results. And it doesn’t matter if you’re NOT trying to look like a bikini model like me, the physical and mental release is incomparable. I know things like drinking, having sex, and hanging out with friends also have physical and mental releases — but have you noticed how you can’t do those activities “alone”? Being alone is so necessary to function in this society. And I’m not just saying this because I’m single now, but because I’ve always valued alone time, especially when you’re in a relationship. Love is great and all, and rainbows and butterflies, but you really are the only person you spend the most time with — so make yourself fking interesting. And hot, too. LOL DUH.
Of course, some things will never change though. Still hate Beyoncé. Don’t think it’s ever gonna work with me & Bey. Blue Ivy is still ugly. I still love rice & curry. I still love to talk shit. I’m still petty about all the things that have happened. It’s a process.
My ex still sucks at life and I recently found out more things about him (from him LOLZ) that made me seriously thank the Lord of the Heavens, and the Skies, and the Solar Systems, and the Universe, AGAIN for getting him the F**K out of my life. It was the BESSSSTTTTT thing that could’ve happened to me. But, I mean, the best thing would’ve been to never met him at all, but that’s okay — we already accepted the whole “lessons” thing. I honestly feel sorry and pity for the other person who chose to keep him in her life, but hey, that’s their prerogative. I call it “being a f**kng bimbo” but who am I to call people names? I learned recently how fake people can be, especially women, but I’m glad I’m not friends with any women/men like that. Unfortunately, I had the honor of dating garbage — but thankfully, my friends have always been awesome, truthful, “CLASSY” people. At the end of the day, although I’m still pretty annoyed about things and have moment of negative feelings, I’m super happy with my life right now.
But — I wouldn’t be true to myself if I didn’t say who I think of when I hear Miley’s song. The song just so childish and funny, with some nice beats too, I have to dedicate to that special gem in my life who I’m glad is no longer here. You, my little douche, are never gonna change. XOXO.