Dedicated — “Hit ‘Em Up”

I love 2Pac. I really do. RIP to one of the greatest rappers ever, and today—I dedicate this lovely song to one of the biggest POS I ever knew in my life: my recent ex. You, my ‘friend,’ are truly the biggest piece of shit I knew. LOLZ. Actually, even feces has more use than you do in this universe. I might sound bitter here (duh!) but really — there are some people in this world whose only purpose is to remind us of FECES. You know how? Well, although it’s necessary and everyone does it yada yada yada, it’s pretty disgusting when we go to the bathroom. And that disgusting act reminds us of how sometimes, we have to look, see, smell, hear gross things to get to the best: an empty bladder, healthy body—and to appreciate the better things in life: like not shitting, or air fresheners, and unclogged toilets. Oh, and better people. You know, people who actually have a moral code and give a shit about how others feel.

So yes, there are some lovely, lovely people in the world whose only use is really to remind you not to put your foot in shit. Because if you do, you’ll get your shoes, socks, and feet dirty and then it’ll suck. Some people do need to see this difference to really not take the “better” people out there for granted. Some of us need to be reminded. Unfortunately, some of us don’t even need this fucking reminder! Some of us are ALREADY WHOLE, COMPASSIONATE, KIND human beings who don’t need these feces-people in our lives to as a reminder to appreciate the better things in life. Not taking shit for granted comes naturally to some of us—and that’s how we live our lives, most especially when we come across feces-people. You see, we think they’re just like us—not full of absolute, disgusting shit—and that’s how we treat them. Well, kudos to us for thinking we’re so awesome, but really feces-people don’t give a crap about our good qualities. What they give a “crap” about (lolz) is themselves and all their shitty qualities. They looooove to roll around in their shitty qualities, lying, cheating, stealing, back-biting, talking shit, and expect people to sit there and take it. LOLZZZIIIIIIEEZZZZ is my response to feces-people.

I know what you wanna say. Oh, be more compassionate, oh where’s your sympathy? Where’s your empathy? Well, you see, feces-people don’t even give a crap if you give them compassion, sympathy or empathy. You did give them that—and more, yet they continued to disregard your feelings, disrespect you, and treat you the same way they see themselves when they look in their crappy mirror: shitty.

The reason why “Hit Em Up” really hits the nail on my feelings right now, is because, well sometimes you really need to curse people out. Sometimes, “kill them with kindness,” or some crap like that really doesn’t work. It might work for some people—but not feces-people. And that’s because they don’t even value kindness! They don’t even value respect! So please tell me why why why why do you think it’s sufficient for you to throw your moral code of kindness+compassion at them and then expect them to understand? Expect them to be sorry? Remorseful? Guilty? No, you don’t have to fall to their level (believe me when I tell you, you never will fall to their level) but cursing someone out is not “falling to a level.” Truthfully, “killing” someone with words—even vulgar words—is much better than causing them or their property physical damage. You won’t really even get in trouble with the law, LOLZ. I’m a writer, so really, words are everything to me. Hitting or attacking someone really will not satisfy me to the core like saying something I’ve been thinking, dwelling on forever. I mean, I’m really not going to pull my glock out on my ex or something, but I’ll let 2Pac do the talking for me here. He gives me justice. Another reason why “Hit Em Up” is awesome right now is because it’s dedicated to Biggie Smalls—2Pac’s rival and one-time “friend”—well, clearly, something went wrong with this “friendship” somewhere. I don’t know the story, nor do I care at the moment, but his entire track is to remind Biggie where he was, who he was, what 2Pac was to him, what he was to 2Pac, and who he still is. and to ‘Pac, well he’s feces. 

I do want to take a moment and apologize to my personal feces for comparing it to my lying, cheating, vomit-inducing ex. I’m sorry, Shit, I really am—but you understand.

sometimes I take metaphors too far,

—n

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Bitchin’

It’s February 2nd and I guess Mother Nature is going to give me my monthly reminder that I’m a woman and this may be TMI for some of you “readers,” but I am going to bitch a lot right now. And you know what, it’s not my fault. It’s the other person’s fault—actually it’s everyone’s fault. Everyone is ridiculous. I am not ridiculous, everyone around me is ridiculous, even the pet that I don’t own is freaking ridiculous and inconsiderate, insensitive, and everything else that is the opposite of nice, kind, and thoughtful.

I don’t know why people talk/text/call me when they don’t even know how to be PEOPLE, they don’t even know how to act like A HUMAN BEING. Further, they still have the audacity to attempt to hold a civilized conversation with me when they probably know that I am really annoyed at them and if it’s not them, I’m probably pissed off at someone else.

SO WHY!? Why do you wanna talk to me and make yourself pretend that you’re making me feel better!? You’re probably the reason I’m pissed off right now. You’re probably the reason WHY White Toberlone isn’t regularly available in the United States, because YOU probably don’t like white chocolate, and I’m the minority. You’re the reason why I’m pretty much sitting here, bitchin’, instead of writing creative fiction, at 3am. Maybe if you did things differently, chewed differently, talked differently, spoke to me differently, then maybe I wouldn’t be so pissed off. I know no one is in charge of my happiness, but you know what people, sometimes it’s nice, sometimes it’s REALLY FUCKING SWEET if people were nice to you when you weren’t feeling so nice, because guess what, not feeling nice all the goddamn time is a human emotion. But, of course, only HUMANS know about human emotions, and I don’t live around humans—I live around mofos.

SIGH….well, this is nothing a few episodes of The Office can’t solve..

SUCK IT. SUCK A TOOTSIE ROLL THAT WAS RUBBED ON THE TOILET SEAT OF AN NYC BATHROOM, YOU JERK.

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